Last night, as I was getting ready to wind down, I suddenly had this quiet silent panic. It screamed, “You need to blog!” Now, for most people, this is not the screaming you hear before bed, but for me as a missionary/writer/blogger that voice pops up every once in a while. Blogging is a part of what I do. It is writing. It is inputting into people’s lives. I even have a few testimonials about how one of my blogs helped the reader in some way. It is ministry. But, the other night, when the voice began to nag me, I wasn’t in the mood. I opened my laptop, paused, and slapped it shut.

“I don’t want to,” I said, And so I went and got a glass of ice water, plopped down on the bed, and began reading The Winter Letter. In the middle of chapter four a thought came to.

Why don’t I want to? I asked myself.

“Good question,” said I.

Actually it wasn’t only a good question, it was THE question. Why didn’t I want to do something I loved? Was it the work involved? No, writing these is easy. Was I tired? Nope. What was it then?

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I love to write. I do. I love taking something that means the world to me and turning it into a story. I love the characters. I love that moment when you get so caught up in the story that time flows overhead and splashes into colors that land on your page. It is thrilling, God’s gift to Dustan.

But lately, I haven’t partaken of it nor enjoyed it like I once did. Why? Because I got caught up in perfectionism. In the borrowed words of Bobby Boucher, “Perfectionism is the debil.” Continue reading →