WARNING: This is my journey of seeking the Lord and what he is doing to me. It is not about you, I’m sorry. These are honest thoughts from a heart needing God. I’m not going to be churchy or politically correct about myself and beliefs. If you are unable to deal with that, please don’t read this. Move on; it’s cool.
Then he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts.
- Zechariah 4:6
First off, I know it’s not day 19 of this journey, but I have decided to start numbering the post so it’s not so dang complicated figuring out what day it is. So let today be day 19, thus sayeth Dustan.
Today we moved out of one house into another. It was a great day of moving that will be followed up tomorrow. See, Darlene and I got an opportunity to get a small place in the woods near my family. We will be able to leave our things here when we head out into the mission field again this September. It’s great. Until we go we will be close to family while saving some money for our mission journey.
It’s never easy leaving family. Actually, that is an understatement. Leaving family again and again sucks. Period. There, I said it. This will be my third time leaving everything and everyone I know to go spread the Love, Hope, & Faith of Jesus Christ. Every single time has been PACKED with thick, hard, painful tears. The sobs are brutal and make your throat hurt for hours. It’s natural, not faithless. Before you judge me, you do it.
None the less, THAT MATTERS NONE. I will leave again and again because my Savior asks me to. Although I feel pain, I will not consider it sacrifice, but an honor. This is what any follower of Christ must be willing to do in order to follow Jesus. Go let the dead bury the dead, if you love father and mother more than me you can not be my disciple, pick up your cross and follow me, anyone who leaves mother, father… These aren’t just lofty ideas, they are the commands and stipulations of the Christian’s master. “Why is he so brutal?” you ask? Well it’s two reasons. 1) He loves the lost and suffering that much. You are rescued now he wants your help to rescue others. He loves them just as much as He loves you. 2) This is not the only life there is. When we really believe that this life is all there is we won’t dare follow Christ away, but when we settle in our heart the Hope we have for an eternal never-ending life the decision is not as painful.
Do we really believe in heaven?
The last time we were on our trip we slept in some of the dirtiest places. We follow Luke Ten – eat, sleep, drink what your given. The thing about that is that day one and two may seem strange, but from then on you set the atmosphere in the room and with a little of Darlene’s touch soon the most filthy places can become home. We have slept in corn shacks, in rooms with hindu idols peering into the windows, in rooms with condom stickers all over the walls, on dirt Tibetan floor with a mother yak urinating ten feet from your head, on buses, three tier six birth trains, and on the side of the road waiting for the sun to rise so we can find a bed. To us each new place and strange food is another story to tell. Like our Christmas dinner two years ago; goat brain and goat liver served happily from a wonderful Indian woman who was so excited to watch us eat the delicacy she prepared for her guest.
Mushy, but tasty.
I remember twice on our trip we were criticized. One of the criticisms came when, after a month of solid outreach in Southern India, sleeping in a room connected to a hallways full of pictures of ganesh, we visited the Taj Mahal.
“They sure look like they are having a lot of fun over there,” said the person, but not in a good way.
The other came when after getting caught in the border guard military dispute in Bangladesh, then a month witnessing in a 99% Muslim town, then dealing with a car wreck situation of some of our good Indonesian friends (God spared us! He is Good!), then a ten hour bus ride on our anniversary, overcoming some more physical attacks of sickness in Malaysia, we took some of our own money and spent four days resting and celebrating my birthday and our anniversary on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Our room cost us $8 a day. It was amazing. Well, some people saw that and commented how we looked like world travelers and not missionaries.
Honestly, what more offensive thing could you say to someone who is literally, in terms of this world, putting his neck on the line to spread the Gospel. How cruel is it to demand your missionary be broke and miserable. 8 dollars? Really? Hello people; knock knock knock on your forehead. Are you that spiritually crooked and mistaken that you can not see that this is how the enemy makes people NOT follow the call. He makes the best job on planet earth (to me – I’m just sayin) look terrible because and he puts such strict demands on your missionary that they quit because they are depressed and broke.
Not this white boy. From that point on I ignored such silliness
I was told later that I should not have told people. Just go, but keep it quiet. Well that’s dishonest; one thing I am not, by the grace of God and of Momma and Daddy. I’m not going to add to the silliness. We don’t stay in five star hotels like many I know who go to foreign countries. I eat the food instead of demand they go out of their way to please me. The same man who told me not to tell people also in a round about way told me that it was my fault that some folks said those things. I scoffed.
Really I did. Why? How is it my fault?, I asked. Well, because I looked too happy out there.
I love doing what we do. Sorrrrry – no not really.
In your life my reader, you are created to do something for the good of mankind and the glory of God. It is your ‘calling’, your purpose, your mission. For me, that is missions. I am called to go to far reaching places and spread the gospel and train up other to do the same. I THRIVE when i do it. I am MADE to do it. I’m GOOD at it. I see RESULTS. I LOVE it. When we finally learned to rest in his grace (the empowerment of the heart by God to do the thing he is leading you to do), every hard moment became just another story to tell of the miracles God was going to do this time. Once we were on an boat, with a military driver, going up river to who knows where, in the middle of the dark, in the thickest jungle I’ve ever seen. We were cracking jokes. How? By his grace. It’s not our power that does that. Even watching the video freaks me out. What was I thinking? Well, I was thinking God is Leading so I will follow. What came of it was nothing short of miraculous. The truth is that we are doing what we are meant to do, a faith step at a time, and it’s working, and although there are challenges His Grace makes us smile and joke when we think someone is hiding outside of our guesthouse waiting to hurt us. HIS GRACE makes us smile when we’re homesick. His GRACE makes us turn and walk through the terminal, leaving a weeping mother and father. Even in the nastiest moments His grace is sufficient. In weakness He is stronger in us by His grace. He is our joy when things are impossible. He laughs at that word, impossible.
Why do we look so happy? Are we just joyriding? Yes, I’m riding the Joy of the Lord. If I didn’t I couldn’t handle the memories and things I’ve seen. Piles of dead bodies leaves a scar, but BY his grace I am free from scars. Through Christ, I can handle any situation, I can do ALL THINGS and so can you.
Darlene and I hear it all the time, “I could NEVER do what you guys do!” I used to say nothing, but now I HAVE to speak when someone says that.
“Yes you could. If God sent you, you could handle it and you would be good at it. It’s his Grace, not your strength. Listen friend, you are stronger than you think. There is a great strong person in you, made for a purpose, and in that purpose God’s Grace is your power!”
We moved again today. Our fortieth something time in the last two years. We are at another place with another mission, and guess what, we are thrilled…
by His Grace,